FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL Joke Funny

FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL Joke Funny

Billy was excited about his first day at school. 

So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. 

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. 

Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. 

Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. 

"I can't find it", he admitted. 

The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. 

Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way. 

Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher "I can't find it". 

Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. 

So Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. 

The teacher asks Tommy "Well, did you find it?" 

Tommy is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards" 

See more: Jokes for kids to tell

Little Guy Joke Funny

Little Guy Joke Funny

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and 

--WHACK!!-- knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. 

The idiot says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." 

The little guy thinks "JEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden 

--WHACK-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

 So the little guy has had enough of this... 

He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so. 

He comes in the door and without saying a word, he walks up behind the big idiot and 

--Bong!!!-- bangs the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! 

The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he comes to, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears." 

See more: Jokes for kids

Hilarious Jokes And Riddles for Kids

Hilarious Jokes And Riddles for Kids

Clean jokes for kids

Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?

The scientists were brainstorming!

What washes up on very small beaches?

Microwaves!

What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?

The road!

What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?

Show me the honey!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

SUPPLIES!

What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

Hi Cliff!

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck!

What do you call a funny mountain?

Hill-arious.

What did the candle say to the other candle?

I’m going out tonight.

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?

I think I’m coming down with something!

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

Why did the traffic light turn red?

You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

What do you say when you lose a wii game?

I want a wii-match!

What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?

The Telephone.

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

What did the triangle say to the circle?

Your pointless!

What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?

Post Office!

What kind of button won’t unbutton?

A bellybutton!

Why should you take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains!

How many books can you put in an empty backpack?

One! After that it’s not empty!

What dog keeps the best time?

A watch dog.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

It let out a little wine!

Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Why do girls scouts sell cookies?

They wanna make a sweet first impression.

Veterinary Clinic Joke Funny

Veterinary Clinic Joke Funny

Silly kid jokes

A man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. 

As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest. 

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, 

"I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away." 

"What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell?  You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!" 

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. 

The Retriever went right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. 

After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook his head and said "Bark". 

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few moments with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. 

As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow."  He then jumped off the table and ran out of the room. 

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600.  

The dog's owner went beserk. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? This is outrageous!" 

The vet shook his head sadly and explained. 

"If you had taken my word for it, it would have been $50, but with the Lab work and the cat scan..." 

First Day At School Jokes

First Day At School Jokes

Good jokes for kids

Billy was excited about his first day at school. 

So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. 

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. 

Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. 

Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. 

"I can't find it", he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher "I can't find it". 

Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. 

So Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. 

The teacher asks Tommy 

"Well, did you find it?" 

Tommy is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards" 

Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids Ever

Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids Ever

Really funny jokes for kids

Q: What did the nose say to the finger? 

A: Stop picking on me. 

Q: What did the tie say to the hat? 

A: You go on ahead and I'll hang around! 

Q: Where does bad light go? 

A: PRISM! 

Q: What did one plate say to the other? 

A: Dinners on me 

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? 

A: A Mer-Maid 

Q: Where do pencils go on vacation? 

A: Pennsylvania 

Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? 

A: Ton. 

Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? 

A: Tu-lips (two-lips) 

Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? 

A: A trum-pet! 

Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? 

A: Bugs Bunny!

 Q: Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? 

A: She had a make-up exam! 

Q: What is a bubbles least favorite drink? 

A: Soda POP 

Q: What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball? 

A: Between you and me something smells. 

Q: What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? 

A: Shadow. 

Farmer Jokes For Kids Of The Day

Farmer Jokes For Kids Of The Day

Clean jokes for kids

Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm? 

Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears! 

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? 

Because he was out standing in his field! 

What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? 

A transfarmer. 

What day do potatoes hate the most? 

Fry-day! 

What farm animal keeps the best time? 

A watch dog! 

Did you hear about the magic tractor? 

It turned into a field! 

What do farmers use to make crop circles? 

A Protractor 

What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?

 Straw-berries! If a cow laughed really hard.... would milk come out of her nose? 

Why did the cow jump over the moon? 

The farmer had cold hands. 

What's the best part of farming? 

Getting down and dirty with my hoes 

What kind of pigs know karate?

 Pork chops! 

What do you call a Nebraskan farmer with a sheep under each arm? 

A pimp. 

What new crop did the farmer plant? 

Beets me! 

What grows under your nose? 

Tulips! 

Where do farmers send their kids to grow? 

Kinder-garden. 

Who tells chicken jokes? 

Comedihens! 

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows? 

Udder nonsense! 

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? 

He has got no beef.

Why do cows like being told jokes? 

Because they like being amoosed! 

What do you call a horse that lives next door? 

A neigh-bor! 

What is a sheep's favorite game? 

Baa-dminton! 

Why did the cabbage win the race? 

Because it was ahead! 

Why did the police arrest the turkey? 

They suspected it of fowl play! 

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? 

An eggroll!

Why were the baby strawberries crying? 

Their ma and pa were in a jam 

What type of horses only go out at night? 

Nightmares!

See more: Dirty adult jokes

A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

Really Funny Knock Knock Jokes For Kids

Knock Knock Jokes For Kids

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Canoe! 

Canoe who? 

Canoe come out and play with me today?

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Who! 

Who who? 

That’s what an owl says!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Lettuce. 

Lettuce who? 

Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Honey bee. 

Honey bee who? 

Honey bee a dear and get me some juice.

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Wooden shoe. 

Wooden shoe who? 

Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

A broken pencil. 

A broken pencil who. 

Oh never mind it’s pointless.

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Cow says. 

Cow says who? 

No silly, a cow says Mooooo!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Double. 

Double who? 

W!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Mikey! 

Mikey who? 

Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Atch. 

Atch who? 

Bless you!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

I am. 

I am who? 

You don’t know who you are?

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Ya. Ya Who? 

Wow, I’m excited to see you too.

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Figs. 

Figs who? 

Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there?

Boo! 

Boo who? 

Don’t cry, it’s just me.

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Interrupting pirate! 

Interrup… ARRRRRRRRRR!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Iva. 

Iva who? 

I’ve a sore hand from knocking!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Avenue. 

Avenue who? 

Avenue knocked on this door before?

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

A little old lady. 

A little old lady who? 

I didn’t know you could yodel.

Will you remember me in 2 minutes? 

Yes. 

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Hey, you didn’t remember me!

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Banana. 

Banana who? 

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Banana. 

Banana who? 

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Banana. 

Banana who? 

Knock, knock. 

Who’s there? 

Orange. Orange who? 

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

Hilarious Jokes For Kids Of All The Time

Hilarious Jokes For Kids

Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?

They wave!

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

I’ll meet you at the corner!

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?

Because they take too long to iron!

Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?

Take away her credit card!

Q:  Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?

So he could hide in the crayon box!

Q:  How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

By the footprints in the butter!

Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?

Grapes are purple.

Q:  What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

“Here come the elephants!”

Q:  What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?

“Here come the grapes!” (She was colorblind.)

Q:  What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean meat!

Q:  What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?

A bald eagle!

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

Q:  Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she will let it go!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite!

Q:  What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

Q:  Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Q:  Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it had so many problems!

Q:  Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course!  The Empire State Building can’t jump!

Q:  If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?

Pilgrims!

Funny Bird Jokes For Kids--Kids Jokes Of The Day

Funny Bird Jokes For Kids

Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep!
———-
Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
———-
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody the Wood Pickle.
———-
Q: There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
A: Roosters don’t lay eggs!
———-
Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!
———-
Q: What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?
A: A funky chicken.
———-
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
———-
Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame bird?
A: The tame way, unique up on it!
———-
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its sparrowchute.
———-
Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
———-
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.
———-
Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
———-
Q: How did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: On the bottom of the chicken’s foot!
———-
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!
———-
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!
———-
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.
———-
Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.
———-
Q: Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
A: To get to the other size!
———-
Q: Why do ducks fly south?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!
———-
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

Things we learn from our mother-Fun Jokes Jokes Of The Day

Things we learn from our mother 

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home." 

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING... "You are going to get it when we get home!" 

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you. Don't talk back to me!" 

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job." 

7. My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" 

8. My Mother taught me HUMOR... "When that lawn mower cuts off you toes, don't come running to me."

9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 

10. My Mother taught me about SEX... "How do you think you got here?" 

11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're just like your father." 

12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?" 

13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand." 

14. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE... "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you... Then you'll see what its like." 

Bell System Jokes

Bell System 

A fire chief had just gotten married and on his honeymoon he informed his new wife that their house was going to be run like a firehouse...

 he said that they would have sex on the bell system. 

He went on to say that one bell meant take your clothes off... two bells meant get into bed... and three bells meant start fooling around. 

The fire chief came home from work one day and decided to try out his system.... he hollered "One Bell" and she took off her clothes. He hollered "Two Bells" and she got into bed. 

He hollered "Three Bells" and they started fooling around like crazy. 

A few minutes later, SHE yells "Four Bells." "Four Bells?" the fire chief asks, "What is four bells?" 

"Let out more hose!" she yelled. "You're nowhere near the fire!" 

Wish For Beer Jokes

Wish For Beer 

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. 

Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. 

To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth. 

This particular Genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. 

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, 

"Make the entire ocean into beer!"

 Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. 

Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom.

 Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted. 

Answers Jokes--Kids Jokes

Answers 

1. White Christmas 

2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire 

3. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth 

4. O Holy Night

 5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear 

6. O Come, All Ye Faithful 

7. Away in a Manger 

8. Deck the Hall

 9. Little Drummer Boy 10. We Three Kings 

11. Silent Night

12. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen 

13. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

14. Let it Snow 

15. Go, Tell It on the Mountain 

16. Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer 

17. What Child is This? 

18. Joy to the World 

19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing 

20. The Twelve Days of Christmas 

Haircut Joke--Kids Jokes

Haircut Joke--Jokes For Kids To Tell

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.

He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him,

"I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your haircut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and  asked again, his father if they could discuss use of the car.

They again went to the father's study where his father said,

"Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but, you didn't get your haircut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied,

"You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair............ "

To which his father replied....... "Yes, and they walked every where"

Ice Cream Parlor--Kids Jokes

Ice Cream Parlor

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, 

"If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" 

Johnny says, 

"None." The teacher asks, 

"Why?" Johnny says, 

"Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, 

"No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, 

"If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" 

The teacher says, 

"The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, 

"No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

What does that mean--Kids Jokes

What does that mean

On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, 

"Mommy, what does bastard mean?" She answers, 

"Um, it means boy." Then he asks, 

"Daddy, what does bitch mean?" He says, 

"Uh, it means girl." Later that day, the boy sees his father in the bathroom shaving; the dad accidentally cuts himself and says, 

"Sh*t." The son asks, 

"What does that mean?" The dad says, 

"It means shaving cream." Then he sees his mom in the kitchen carving the turkey; she accidentally cuts herself and says, 

"F*ck." The son asks her what that word means and she says, 

"It means carving." That evening, the family's guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. The son opens the door to welcome them and says, 

"Welcome bitches and bastards! My dad is in the bathroom rubbing sh*t on his face and my mom is in the kitchen f*cking the turkey."

Gift For Mom--Kids Jokes

Gift For Mom

Let's read Jokes For Kids about Funny Kids Jokes

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.

Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said,

"I built a big house for our Mother."  The second said,

"I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said,

"I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks,

"Milton," she wrote one son,

"the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Gerald," she wrote to another,

"I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son,

"you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

Fat Cow--Kids Jokes

Fat Cow

Let's read Fun Jokes For Kids about Kid Joke

Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?

Kids: Meat!

Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?

Kids: Bacon!

Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?

Kid: Homework!

Family Dinner--Kids Jokes

Family Dinner

Let's read Jokes For Children about Jokes For Kids

A family was having some people to dinner.

At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said,

"Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.

Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said,

"Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"

Drink Of Water--Kids Jokes

Drink Of Water

Let's read Jokes For Children about Kids Jokes

A small boy is sent to bed by his father… Five minutes later:

"Da-ad…"

"What?"

"I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."  Five minutes later:

"Da-aaaad…"

"WHAT?"

"I’m THIRSTY… Can I have a drink of water?"

"I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!"  Five minutes later:

"Daaad…"

"WHAT?!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

A Kid Was Crying--Kids Jokes

A Kid Was Crying

Let's read Funny Jokes For Kids about Jokes For Kids

A kid was crying standing outside his house.

A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?"

Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house."

Passer by: "Who is your father?"

Kid: "That is what the fight is about."

That’s horrible--Kids Jokes

That’s horrible

Let's read Jokes For Children about Jokes For Kids

One day a boy came home running while crying.



His mother asked what happened why are you crying?



The boy said `I got punished for something I did not do’.



His mother said ‘That’s horrible. what did you not do’.



The boy in tears said `my homework’

In the Band--Kids Jokes

In the Band

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Sam’s eighth birthday, my brother took him to a football game. During halftime, a Marine band played, and Sam studied them intently.

“Why the interest in the band?” his father asked.

“I’m checking to see if Ben and Matt from our synagogue are in it. They’re Marines.”

“But they’re in Afghanistan.”

“If I were in a marching band, I’d say I was in Afghanistan too.”

A Lesson In Goverment--Kids Jokes

A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT

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  A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

  When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

  His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

  ''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

  ''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

  ''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed.

  In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help.

  When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room.

  When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud,

  ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

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