First Day At School Jokes

First Day At School Jokes

Good jokes for kids

Billy was excited about his first day at school. 

So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. 

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. 

Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. 

Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. 

"I can't find it", he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher "I can't find it". 

Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom. 

So Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. 

The teacher asks Tommy 

"Well, did you find it?" 

Tommy is quick with his reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards" 

Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids Ever

Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids Ever

Really funny jokes for kids

Q: What did the nose say to the finger? 

A: Stop picking on me. 

Q: What did the tie say to the hat? 

A: You go on ahead and I'll hang around! 

Q: Where does bad light go? 

A: PRISM! 

Q: What did one plate say to the other? 

A: Dinners on me 

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? 

A: A Mer-Maid 

Q: Where do pencils go on vacation? 

A: Pennsylvania 

Q: What is heavy forward but not backward? 

A: Ton. 

Q: What do you get when you plant kisses? 

A: Tu-lips (two-lips) 

Q: What pet makes the loudest noise? 

A: A trum-pet! 

Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? 

A: Bugs Bunny!

 Q: Why did the girl bring lipstick and eye shadow to school? 

A: She had a make-up exam! 

Q: What is a bubbles least favorite drink? 

A: Soda POP 

Q: What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball? 

A: Between you and me something smells. 

Q: What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? 

A: Shadow. 

Farmer Jokes For Kids Of The Day

Farmer Jokes For Kids Of The Day

Clean jokes for kids

Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm? 

Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears! 

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? 

Because he was out standing in his field! 

What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? 

A transfarmer. 

What day do potatoes hate the most? 

Fry-day! 

What farm animal keeps the best time? 

A watch dog! 

Did you hear about the magic tractor? 

It turned into a field! 

What do farmers use to make crop circles? 

A Protractor 

What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?

 Straw-berries! If a cow laughed really hard.... would milk come out of her nose? 

Why did the cow jump over the moon? 

The farmer had cold hands. 

What's the best part of farming? 

Getting down and dirty with my hoes 

What kind of pigs know karate?

 Pork chops! 

What do you call a Nebraskan farmer with a sheep under each arm? 

A pimp. 

What new crop did the farmer plant? 

Beets me! 

What grows under your nose? 

Tulips! 

Where do farmers send their kids to grow? 

Kinder-garden. 

Who tells chicken jokes? 

Comedihens! 

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows? 

Udder nonsense! 

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? 

He has got no beef.

Why do cows like being told jokes? 

Because they like being amoosed! 

What do you call a horse that lives next door? 

A neigh-bor! 

What is a sheep's favorite game? 

Baa-dminton! 

Why did the cabbage win the race? 

Because it was ahead! 

Why did the police arrest the turkey? 

They suspected it of fowl play! 

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? 

An eggroll!

Why were the baby strawberries crying? 

Their ma and pa were in a jam 

What type of horses only go out at night? 

Nightmares!

See more: Dirty adult jokes

A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''